When I graduated College I remember many different speeches - all of them positive - all of them inspiring - all of them promising good things for us - it made me want to go out there and kick some ass and take the world by storm.......
Fast forward to 25. I'm living in a one bedroom apartment - barely paying off those college bills - not sure if my job is for me - wondering if my boyfriend of about 7 years is finally going to get off his ass and propose- still driving a clunker - and wondering - where were these promises made to me a few years back? I feel deflated and defeated, and wonder when will at all come together?
So I sat back and reassure myself...... you know what - 30 - 30 will be when it all comes together.....
Well this past weekend I turned 30 and well - allot of the promises I'm still waiting on. But, somewhere between those college days and today Ive changed. Somewhere along the way those things that meant so much to me just don't seem as important. And instead of feeling jipped cause I'm not the CEO of a major corporation - I realize that although some things have come together others have not. And I'm not really sure how I feel about that....I'm still a mess. Its just today I'm a different mess.......
For example - I still cry at the Notebook. I read the book, I saw the movie - I know whats going to happen - yet I still bawl to the point that my husband (yes the boyfriend did get off his ass and ask me) worries about me!
Stress - wasn't I supposed to have this figured out by now? Wasn't I supposed to be able to go with the flow - have the answers - be able to solve every one's issues and have dinner ready all in a half an hour?
And whatever happened to dinner? Seriously how do people do it. By the time I get home from dinner I'M lucky a bowl of cereal gets poured let alone a gourmet meal!!! Seriously - how do people do it?
And where was the laundry speech at graduation? No one told me that
a. it would be never ending, and
b. it would take over your house....I mean seriously it never stopped! Where was this advice on graduation day?
Theres many more, but you get the point......So where were all of these things in the speech? I thought for sure I was supposed to have this figured out and done. And that others would be learning from me......
But maybe that's the point.
Maybe we never figure life out....maybe life is about figuring things out. Figuring ourselves out....
Maybe its about forgetting these little things and remembering whats important.
Maybe, its about the Blessings.
Maybe in our speeches we should forget about all of these promises and remind ourselves to stop and BREATHE.
We need to take time and recognize our blessings.
Blessings like having your niece and nephew call you on your birthday and tell you that they love you.
Your husband giving you that look and telling you he loves you.
Your cat crawling into your lap after a hard day and cuddling with you.
Your mother telling you that she feels truly loved by you.
Or seeing a Space Shuttle launch in person and realizing how small we all really all and then realizing that's OK,
or being able to just sit and be.
These blessings were not in a college speech I heard, but they were blessings that I was lucky enough to experience. And I will take these blessings any day and over and over again. These blessings are worth more than that expensive car, or outrageous job - these are moments to remember for the rest of my life....
Maybe when we make these speeches we feel as though we have to make the world sound amazing and pump our youth up to go out there - and don't get me wrong its so important to go for thing and have passion and energy around what we do. Its also not bad to share these things with our youth....but remember its not just about the big things, but its about the everyday things that are all around us - and when we take the time to recognize them the better off we will be. To appreciate and respect the big things we also have to appreciate and respect the big things and until we can do that - we may not know or recognize when something big comes along...we may still be waiting.......waiting for what we already have.
