Gratitude - a Simple Magnitude....

I was sent this article today by someone I had the pleasure of working with a few times.  She has always been very good about thanking others and sending written thank you notes. 
I thought this was very timely as lately with being sick I havent been feeling all that great and very down.  This helped to perk me up. 
I hope it does the same for you......Happy New Years......

After a particularly bad 2007, lawyer John Kralik decided to start 2008 with a serious New Year's resolution: to be thankful for the good things and people in his life. So he spent the next year writing one thank you note for each day -- to family, friends, co-workers, even the barista at his local Starbucks. Those notes make up his new book, 365 Thank Yous: The Year A Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life.



Why not just say thanks? Kralik tells NPR's Liane Hansen that it was his grandfather who fostered his interest in written gratitude at an early age.


"My grandfather, whenever you sent him a thank you note, he would always send you a silver dollar," Kralik explains. "And then if you wrote him a thank you for the silver dollar, he'd send you another."


The first thank you note Kralik sat down to write in 2008 was to his son. But when it came time to send the letter off, Kralik realized he didn't have his son's address.


"I called him to get his address," Kralik says, and his son replied, "Gee, I need to stop by and take you to lunch." Over lunch, Kralik's son repaid a loan of several thousand dollars. "So I wrote him another thank you note," Kralik says, "for repaying the loan and also for taking me out to lunch."


Short, Sweet ... And Written By Hand


In the early days of 2008, Kralik systematically wrote thank you notes for all of his Christmas presents. When he was out of gifts, he wrote notes to his co-workers. And when he ran out of co-workers, he was stuck.


"One day, I just couldn't think of anybody to thank," Kralik says. But on his way to work, he stopped at his regular Starbucks, where his barista greeted him by name -- "John, your usual venti?" -- and with a big smile. "I thought, this is really kind of a great gift in this day and age of impersonal relationships, that someone had cared enough to learn my name and what I drank in the morning," Kralik says.


Kralik lingered at the counter to learn his barista's name -- it was Scott -- and then set out to write him a simple note of gratitude. Scott was very happy to receive it, Kralik reports, despite the fact that at first he had assumed it was a complaint letter.


After the holidays, it's easy to view thank you note writing as a chore, but Kralik says that sincerity is the best approach -- he encourages people to focus on one true, meaningful sentence about the gift or the person. The notes don't have to be long, Kralik explains; sometimes limiting yourself to just a few sentences forces you to distill your sentiments.


Kralik wrote a simple thank you to his young daughter -- she was too young to read his cursive handwriting, so he read it to her out loud:


Thank you for being cheerful and happy when I pick you up in the evening. Sometimes I don't have a very fun day, but when I see you and we talk about things and have fun, I feel better. Thank you for being the best daughter ever.


Though it might be tempting to fire off a quick thank you e-mail, Kralik says true expressions of gratitude should be written the old school way -- with pen and paper.


"Things we write in cyberspace are so easily deleted and forgotten ... buried by the next 30 e-mails we receive," Kralik says. "In this day and age, a handwritten note is something that people really feel is special."


Kralik says he is often moved by how many people have saved his notes: "It's up on their wall," he says. "It's like part of you that's there." [Copyright 2010 National Public Radio]

Sunrise...

At 4:30 my alarm went off - I hit snooze....at 4:40 it went off again and I got up - got dressed - got into my husband's car and we drove and drove....
We then got out of the car and hiked to the "perfect spot" at this point we then waited.......

While waiting - others joined us.....we didn't know them, but for that moment they were our friends....we were all friends...we were all there for the same reason and we were all ready and excited for the same thing.

We talked - we laughed, we took pictures...then all at once we got quiet.....

Ahead of us was the most amazing sight.....the Sunrise.

Such a simple thing - it happens everyday - yet when we take the time to view it - we are in complete amazement and wonder.

The sky filled with beautiful hues of red, orange, purple, blue, white, and more......
Pictures snapped the beauty.  Offers of taking pictures of each other in front of it were given.  And for those few minutes all of the world stood still and everyone admired the beauty and wonder in which live each and everyday in.

With that moment I truly appreciated life, and what it has given to me - and the gratitude for simple things like a Sunrise, being able to appreciate it, being able to share it with my best friend, and everyone around us.

After the sun peeked through the clouds then finally broke through a few more pictures were snapped and then everyone started on their day. 
We sat there for a few more moments taking the glory in and then we also continued on our path.

As we all rode down that windy path back to our starting places things were different.  People were moving a little more slower, smiles were bigger, patience was extended, and we were all different somehow....

(to see pictures of the sunrise - check out my FB Photos - I will post them soon)

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do........

Lately that little voice in my head has been screaming.


Its been screaming for me to quit being healthy - quit taking care of yourself.


Only this little voice doesnt talk to me like that - it more ....justifies.


It tells me - you worked hard today you deserve a blizzard from DQ. You have been so good lately - you work hard -you deserve this - whatever really bad for me treat is. Or you are tired - you need your rest - dont get up and workout -be lazy and relaxxxxxxxxxx.  It tells me that all things I know that are bad for me are oh so good.  That its good to be bad.....
I know this voice - and unfortunately I know it all to well.
And up until today I have always fell victim to my own voice - weird right?
But, Im realizing now - that its time to break up with that voice.
This voice has been ruling my life for waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too long now. It has been causing me to gain weight, be lazy, reward myself with food, think about getting drunk, and do destructive things.


This voice has been running the show and this show has not been a pleasant one. So its time to pause for commercial break and restart the show. I need to learn to stop this voice in its tracks and do what is best for me.....and that means ignoring this voice when its telling me how good these bad things will feel.....
Its time for me to learn and use the word NO! and be ok with it. No is a complete sentence and I need to start using it
Its ok if others want to eat that cheesecake, go to the bar, not workout, not go to work, etc - that is their choice - and they can chose to do whatever they want. I shouldnt pressure myself to fit in by making unhealthy choices. I need to look out for me.
And if Im not strong enough to go along with them - then thats ok too - I can do something else.
Its amazing how at times we can convince ourselves that we need to do things that we really dont need to - so we have that sense of belonging.

So while I hope this breakup is amicable - Im prepared for the fights, the tears, the fears, and the overall frustration of this voice. But Im also preparing myself for the healthy rewards this break up will bring.
The happiness, the satisfaction, and the pride that I can begin to feel.  Its time to reward myself in a positive way and hold my head up high.


Change is inevitable and this time I know its for the good.

So, breaking up may be hard to do - being unhealthy is harder. So the choice is mine and I choose to be healthy.

Blind Leading the Blind?

Trust. 
Such a small word with so much meaning behind it.

In one of my past employers we did a "Trust Walk".  With this - we were put into duos.  One of us was blind folded while the other took us through this mock obstacle course.  The key was the non blind-folded person was leading us through the course - but they could not talk.  They would have to push you to the right - push you down, etc.
With this you had to trust that the person was looking out for you, taking you in the right direction, had your best interest in heart, and would safely bring you back to the starting point.

For anyone with trust or control issues this was NOT an easy session.
while doing this session my leader who was trying to make sure I didn't fall down a slide was trying to get me to sit down.  Being so intent on the slide - she did not see the bar that I eventually banged my chin on and bit my tongue.  And lets just say it was followed by pain and some blood.

With this I easily could've whipped off the blind fold and yelled.

But after the pain passed I realized - it wasn't her fault.  She was trying so hard not to have me fall that she missed the other obstacle.  Something to her that she did not see as dangerous.

This seems so true in our own lives.  Sometimes we fear something so much that we don't even realize that the real danger is approaching us. 
We may try and try to avoid a specific situation or event and in reality what we are going through is worse. 

We tend to make things so much worse in our head than they really are!

So how do we come to know and trust that in the end - it will all work out?

How do we allow the blindfold to be placed and trust that our leader will bring us back safely?

What I'm coming to realize is that we just have to do it.

Our blindfolds are on whether we want them to be or not.  We can try to rip them off, we can try to see whats coming, we can prepare for the obstacle, cheat and look down through the part that's out a bit by our nose......but no matter what we do - we are never going to be fully prepared.
We are never going to be completely prepared.  There will always be an unexpected event, something we didn't even think of that will come out and smack us in the chin........

So we must trust.

We must trust that our leader - whomever it may be- is looking out for us.  They are weighing the consequences with us and when they do allow an obstacle to get to us - its more than likely to avoid a worse one.

We are never given more than we can handle.  And at times it definitely feels like we are, but when we put that blind fold on and take that first step we must have complete faith and trust that our feet will land on soft ground and that as long as we trust our leader - everything will be OK.

Disney Movie

So today I woke up, well in a mood...Not sure why, not sure what happened, no idea how to get out of it - just in a mood.

Sometimes this happens and honestly I hate it. I hate that I’m not enjoying every second of life and that I’m not happy and chipper - but I’ve come to realize that sometimes we just need to feel things.

Sometimes we are in moods, and we just need to roll through it - with as little damage as possible.

On the flipside sometimes we get to have great moods! Some days I wake up and get out of bed and the birds are singing to me, all the lights turn green, I’m early for work, the coffee is done perfect, breakfast tastes amazing, everyone around me is in a great mood as well, and the world is a Disney Movie come to life!

Today is just not one of those days!

I was late to work, the lights were red, and my coffee tastes off today. Far from a Disney Movie - but not a Freddie Movie - somewhere in between! :-)

A year ago when this mood would hit me I would dwell in it - lash out - strike - and cause allot of damage: to myself, my emotions, my spirit, and unfortunately others.

Today I can practice what I have coined as mood containment. Today I can contain my mood - to some degree.I’m no longer the running psychotic banshee, or the woman on the edge.

Today I’m just a chic who's in a mood and who is going through it.I don’t need to lash out on every poor unsuspecting person, I can just be me, experience the mood, and move on.

Even better - I can call some of my chicas and just chat it up and start to let it go.I know now that eventually what ever has my panties in a bunch will even itself out and I will be able to deal with it like a big girl and move on. It also helps to know I’m not the only one who has days like this - and I’m definitely not unique in this sense and I’m not alone.

So as I move through my mood today I’m grateful to have more tools to successfully go through unharmed and not harming anyone else...So until the mood passes Ill be here just chillin- taking it one moment, or today - one minute (or second) at a time.

Today I believe that these moments are just the previews, and that any moment this too shall pass, and the Disney Movie will start...

So I think Ill grab some popcorn and just wait this one out...

Fear of....Success???

As I continue this journey I cant help but to think - am I really afraid of failure as I have lead myself to believe for so many years.... or is it more fear of success?

When we were young we were taught to be modest. Don’t brag, don’t show off.... we were encouraged to minimize our successes and show humbleness and modesty.

The reasoning behind this was not malicious - it was a great thought in theory - but maybe, just maybe as kids we took it too far.Maybe we realized that if we were struggling or not doing well we got extra attention, extra excuses. The girl with the straight A's was a show off - and we were real - and we were ok. There was something wrong with her - not us.... so we encouraged ourselves to cut back a bit - and a bit more - and slowly somehow we started to fear success.

In life when we succeed when good things happen a few reactions can happen.

People can be happy for us - genuinely - and encourage us. They tell us we deserve this and they celebrate with us. I like those kinds of people!

Or sometimes people tend to point out the negatives for us. It may be their own insecurities stepping in - but they want to put us down, want to stomp out our accomplishment. They seethe with jealousy and hate that we are successful.

There are also those that point out the negative - because they are looking out for us - they just want to caution us. These crack me up. These do-gooders are always just trying to help.

Then there are also those that fake the happiness for us - and you can plainly see by their faces - they just aren’t good liars - or they aren’t hiding it well. Whatever it may be - you know they are not happy for you - and you know that it’s not real. But these "thanks for coming out" or "good efforts" may really be trying - they just missed the mark.

I’m sure there are others that fall into another category - but these tend to be the reactions I get - and I chose to have.

Part of me fears success for others and for myself - because what if we lose it? What if you lose that dream job? What if you realize you made a mistake?

What if...what if...

What if it’s awesome? What if it's everything we hoped for and more? What if it just is what it is?????What if we stopped encouraging each other to fail and truly celebrated each other’s successes! What would happen then?

What if we found a happy medium? What if I would start believing that I deserve success and stop sabotaging my efforts?There are so many possibilities with those ifs.... so why not?

Why not believe we are worth it? Why not work hard at it - celebrate our successes and stop apologizing or making excuses!

Ditch the naysayers, the do-gooders, and the not truly excited - they will come around - but why waste time with them when we can just celebrate ourselves.

So, as I continue this journey - I’m going to ditch the biggest naysayer in my life - myself.

I’m choosing to shut up that voice in my head, shut up those doubts. Shut up the negative, the never good enough, the you don’t deserve this - and I will simply tell her...I DO deserve this - and I’m going to enjoy this!

I’m hoping that she will get the point, put on a party hat, hang a congrats banner, and enjoy the moment with me...

Enjoy your moments - they are yours, you worked hard for them, and you deserve them - every single second. Enjoy!

The Missing Piece of College Speeches....

When I graduated College I remember many different speeches - all of them positive - all of them inspiring - all of them promising good things for us - it made me want to go out there and kick some ass and take the world by storm.......



Fast forward to 25. I'm living in a one bedroom apartment - barely paying off those college bills - not sure if my job is for me - wondering if my boyfriend of about 7 years is finally going to get off his ass and propose- still driving a clunker - and wondering - where were these promises made to me a few years back? I feel deflated and defeated, and wonder when will at all come together?
So I sat back and reassure myself...... you know what - 30 - 30 will be when it all comes together.....



Well this past weekend I turned 30 and well - allot of the promises I'm still waiting on. But, somewhere between those college days and today Ive changed. Somewhere along the way those things that meant so much to me just don't seem as important. And instead of feeling jipped cause I'm not the CEO of a major corporation - I realize that although some things have come together others have not. And I'm not really sure how I feel about that....I'm still a mess. Its just today I'm a different mess.......



For example - I still cry at the Notebook. I read the book, I saw the movie - I know whats going to happen - yet I still bawl to the point that my husband (yes the boyfriend did get off his ass and ask me) worries about me!



Stress - wasn't I supposed to have this figured out by now? Wasn't I supposed to be able to go with the flow - have the answers - be able to solve every one's issues and have dinner ready all in a half an hour?

And whatever happened to dinner? Seriously how do people do it. By the time I get home from dinner I'M lucky a bowl of cereal gets poured let alone a gourmet meal!!! Seriously - how do people do it?

And where was the laundry speech at graduation? No one told me that

a. it would be never ending, and

b. it would take over your house....I mean seriously it never stopped! Where was this advice on graduation day?





Theres many more, but you get the point......So where were all of these things in the speech? I thought for sure I was supposed to have this figured out and done. And that others would be learning from me......



But maybe that's the point.



Maybe we never figure life out....maybe life is about figuring things out. Figuring ourselves out....

Maybe its about forgetting these little things and remembering whats important.



Maybe, its about the Blessings.



Maybe in our speeches we should forget about all of these promises and remind ourselves to stop and BREATHE.



We need to take time and recognize our blessings.

Blessings like having your niece and nephew call you on your birthday and tell you that they love you.

Your husband giving you that look and telling you he loves you.

Your cat crawling into your lap after a hard day and cuddling with you.

Your mother telling you that she feels truly loved by you.

Or seeing a Space Shuttle launch in person and realizing how small we all really all and then realizing that's OK,

or being able to just sit and be.



These blessings were not in a college speech I heard, but they were blessings that I was lucky enough to experience. And I will take these blessings any day and over and over again. These blessings are worth more than that expensive car, or outrageous job - these are moments to remember for the rest of my life....



Maybe when we make these speeches we feel as though we have to make the world sound amazing and pump our youth up to go out there - and don't get me wrong its so important to go for thing and have passion and energy around what we do. Its also not bad to share these things with our youth....but remember its not just about the big things, but its about the everyday things that are all around us - and when we take the time to recognize them the better off we will be. To appreciate and respect the big things we also have to appreciate and respect the big things and until we can do that - we may not know or recognize when something big comes along...we may still be waiting.......waiting for what we already have.

Should we forgive John Mayer???

There has been much buzz about this infamous interview and I know my fellow bloggers that you have been up most of the night tormented with this decision - do we or don't we forgive him????? This IS the question that plagues us for 2010.

So to help you in this ever weighing decision here are some facts for you:

1. The article was in the upstanding and respectable magazine Playboy. We all know that Playboy is known for its articles and witty and remarkable interviews. I mean Pamela Anderson would be a nobody had it not been her heartfelt interview in Playboy. I mean the articles are the epitome of the highest education standard.....wait - there are pictures in Play boy? really? Hmmm I didn't notice. Hopefully Playboy wont be too upset by all the publicity it is getting and the extra purchases people are making to read the interview.....we can only hope that their reputation will not be ruined by John Mayer's promiscuous words.

2. He made Jessica Simpson out to be a Sex Vixen....who knew! I mean really? ? I thought she was still a virgin! Does Nick Lachey know about this? I mean $10,000 sex must be good sex.....why in the world would he divorce her? Someone should tell him. Its also good - since the whole Tony Romo and the mom jeans thing - we really haven't heard about Jessica Simpson...so its good we got to see how she was doing.....nice to check in on her once in awhile....

3. You KNOW he is going to have to make up for this...so you know hes going to do some kind of save the world concert or send a porn star to college - so remember this porn star when they run for president - and in their acceptance speech they can credit John Mayer's Playboy's interview

4. Now Brad and Angelina are going to HAVE to come up with something - cause really they just cant be out played by anyone or anything associated with Jennifer Anniston....look out adoption agencies - they must just go out and adopt 25 kids at once....

5. He intellectualized the N word! thank you so much John! I have been waiting YEARS for someone to do this! I mean its about time

6. Oprah has denied him an interview to apologize. Well to be fair she is really busy - and besides she is the end all and be all of her viewing populations decision making skills - so he may lose some fans there....but maybe if he does a good job of making up for this (see number 3) she will make him buy everyone in her studio audience a car and all will be right in the world.

7. OH just thought of this! If people start hating on him - his ticket prices will go down! Hot dog!

8. He called his unit a white supremist....lol.....Im laughing because I think that he doesn't date black chics cause he probably has a small unit....and they would laugh their ass off at him...this is all heresy...but Jessica Simpson might be able to tell us...or not.....she also thought tuna was chicken.....so who knows......

9. He now has a whole set of album material! If you ever noticed...his albums started with him being in love, then going through troubles, then a breakup - then this last one is an obvious torment of his life.......so now that he has made his life even more tormented he has a whole new set of materials!

10. Maybe Playboy will send out an apology......well they still havent apologized for trying to have a sequel to the Girls Next Door with those two idiot twins....or definitely overusing viagara....so probably not....

So its now time for you to decide.....do we forgive John Mayer....or don't we?

That IS the question!

So what happens when Beyonce does put on her pants???

Numerous requests and reports have asked Beyonce to please start wearing pants. While we aren't sure why she refuses to wear pants, one has to wonder - what would happen if she DID in fact put some pants on?

The mini skirts she wears are cute - and we are all really proud that a curvy woman is shaking her thing - and deep inside we are all desperately hoping that she has panties on (and really, really hope for fullbacks). But, what would happen if she put on pants?

Picture this: You are sitting all cozy on your couch, ready for the Grammy's, you've got your Cheetos and your mug of hot chocolate and you are snuggled under a blanket - then all of a sudden Beyonce comes out and What the.......

A Cheetos literally falls out of your mouth - hold the phone - back the truck up......

Beyonce has pants on?????

What happened?

Next thing we know Jay-Z is using electronics in his music, Brittney is a sane, blonde virgin again, and Lady Gaga gets her clothes at the Gap?

Is this a world we want to live in? Is this a world that we want our children growing up in?

That my fellow bloggers is the question.......

Another question that comes to my mind is why the hatred for pants? They are comfy - they provide warmth, and they can be quite fabulous. I have thought long and hard about this and Ive come up with a few reasons....

One - she likes to feel the wind between her legs...

Two - Rhiannon loves pants....and we know all about that....

Three - Shes got a banging bod and hell - I might just walk around in a bikini if I were her...

Four - Her mom hasn't quite figured out how to sew that pattern yet

or my favorite

Five - shes Beyonce - she can basically do whatever she wants!

So Beyonce you go on with your bad ass self and your minis - shake what your mama gave ya - or in your case - designed for you - and keep on keeping on!

2010 New Year, New Resolutions....

So as I sit after watching - yes the Confessions of an shopaholic....it got me thinking about my own spending. It seems these days that everyone is watching their dollar very carefully. That we are all re-considering the recent purchase we just made and whether or not we need that or want that.
I know for myself Ive spent 2009 hunkering down and looking for ways to stretch my dollar and ways to save a buck. This seems to be the trend whenever our economy is stressed - we take on the stress and we distribute it. It seems to be the only thing in the economy that we can count on is - stress.

When I think about when I was a kid, I realize I didn't know what stress was. I didn't know that we didn't have a ton of money and I didn't care. I didn't think the things we did to save money were odd - I didn't know any different. It was what we did and the money that we have didn't define who we were. We were a united, strong family - who just had to make our dollars work for us as we worked for them.

Somewhere along the way that all changed.....

I'm not sure really when.....I think it was being told my whole life, go to college and a get a degree, things will be simpler then. All your problems will be solved. The world is your oyster - get a pearl....
But, reality strikes and we realize that coming out of college we don't get the CEO title, the corporate jet, and that things are not handed to us. We have to work.
So the ethics of work hard kick in. The dreams of the big home, 2.5 kids, the white picket fence, dream vacations, etc....it all comes barely within our reach and we realize we just need to work a bit harder, pull more hours, go in on weekends, just work harder and it will all be ours.

At some point this dream starts to change.....we realize that not everything is a reality and maybe our destiny wasn't to be as described to us when we were young. Some of us had kids younger and the trials and tribulations of parenthood come blaring in our face. Others of us got the dream job only to find out it was a nightmare. Some of us got lost along the way and in turn - lost ourselves.......whatever it may be we didn't exactly turn out the way that was promised or the way it was supposed to be in our "dreams".

Some of us might just roll with the punches, we may try to get things accomplished anyways and make the best of what was handed out. We make lemonade with the lemons. Some of us add vodka to the lemonade and have ourselves a party. Others take the lemons and cry. And still others of us stare down the lemons and wonder...what if...........

I believe at some point, all of us, come to a point in our lives where the what if becomes stronger and stronger - and we realize that maybe we have been going down a wrong path. Maybe this path we took was what we thought...but is no longer. Maybe we were meant to do something else....but what???

This question can haunt us and frustrate us beyond our wildest dreams......or it can be the solution, the answer........

What if the answer is that we should take the journey. Maybe there is no destiny, maybe there is no exact route....maybe the point is to take the journey. To smell the roses along the way. To take a moment, take it all in, and live our lives.

Maybe 2009 taught us that being broke wasn't the worst thing that happened to us. Maybe we can take the economy, the penny pinching, the stress, and learn from it. Maybe, just maybe, it was part of our journey to bring reality, and real reality, back to our lives. Maybe we should turn off the reality on TV and start living our own.
Maybe we were supposed to be comfortable in our skin and learn to live and love with passion, rather than tons of money.

Most of us - this is not what we were told when we were young dreamers. This isn't in the plan...but maybe that is the plan.

So 2010 is my dedication to this new "plan". I'm going to try it out and see. I'm going to stop waiting for opportunities and start making them. I'm going to try new things, experience new experiences, I'm going to live life on life's terms and I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm going to try to understand what the best things in life are free and I'm going to get out there and live a life that I was mean to live.

So this blog will be dedicated to that - my journey.

I guess all that's left to say now is......Let the journey begin...........