Breaking Up Is Hard To Do........

Lately that little voice in my head has been screaming.


Its been screaming for me to quit being healthy - quit taking care of yourself.


Only this little voice doesnt talk to me like that - it more ....justifies.


It tells me - you worked hard today you deserve a blizzard from DQ. You have been so good lately - you work hard -you deserve this - whatever really bad for me treat is. Or you are tired - you need your rest - dont get up and workout -be lazy and relaxxxxxxxxxx.  It tells me that all things I know that are bad for me are oh so good.  That its good to be bad.....
I know this voice - and unfortunately I know it all to well.
And up until today I have always fell victim to my own voice - weird right?
But, Im realizing now - that its time to break up with that voice.
This voice has been ruling my life for waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too long now. It has been causing me to gain weight, be lazy, reward myself with food, think about getting drunk, and do destructive things.


This voice has been running the show and this show has not been a pleasant one. So its time to pause for commercial break and restart the show. I need to learn to stop this voice in its tracks and do what is best for me.....and that means ignoring this voice when its telling me how good these bad things will feel.....
Its time for me to learn and use the word NO! and be ok with it. No is a complete sentence and I need to start using it
Its ok if others want to eat that cheesecake, go to the bar, not workout, not go to work, etc - that is their choice - and they can chose to do whatever they want. I shouldnt pressure myself to fit in by making unhealthy choices. I need to look out for me.
And if Im not strong enough to go along with them - then thats ok too - I can do something else.
Its amazing how at times we can convince ourselves that we need to do things that we really dont need to - so we have that sense of belonging.

So while I hope this breakup is amicable - Im prepared for the fights, the tears, the fears, and the overall frustration of this voice. But Im also preparing myself for the healthy rewards this break up will bring.
The happiness, the satisfaction, and the pride that I can begin to feel.  Its time to reward myself in a positive way and hold my head up high.


Change is inevitable and this time I know its for the good.

So, breaking up may be hard to do - being unhealthy is harder. So the choice is mine and I choose to be healthy.